#12 strategies for dealing with self-doubt

This month I’ve been discussing the effects of self-doubt and negative thoughts.  As this is the final blog of this series, let’s go over some important ways to deal with self-doubt when it happens.
By the way, if you think it’s “just you”, let me tell you, even the most successful person works to overcome self-doubt at times.
Feeling self-doubt isn’t the problem. Letting self-doubt control you, make your decisions for you, and rule your life is the problem.
Here are #12 strategies for dealing with self-doubt.
 You’re Not Alone – Everyone experiences self-doubt and whether you have friends, family, or anyone to talk to right now about this, you are not alone in your feelings. It’s all how you react to it that matters. You can find others to commiserate with by joining Facebook groups or other types of groups and forums to help feel less alone with your issues.
 Keep a...

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#9 Strategies to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts

I don’t know about you, but last week when a member of the government said on national tv that we shouldn’t bother booking a summer holiday yet, it made me feel quite down.

I love travelling and seeing new places, even here in the UK. We have a fabulous country to explore. I totally understand ‘the why’, due to the current circumstances, but like many, not being allowed to move around at the moment is making me feel trapped. In this situation it’s easy to start having negative thoughts.

On the plus side, it’s possible to train your mind to overcome and turn negative thoughts around.

Here are #9 strategies to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts, or to at least stop the negative thoughts faster, when they start.

 Change the Focus – When you encounter a negative situation, try to immediately turn it into something positive by focusing on what you can learn about the situation. Even if all you learn is that you don’t want to do...

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Self-doubt derailer or belief booster?

self-belief self-doubt Feb 09, 2021

It’s no doubt that running your own business is hard work. Amongst the many hats you have to wear, you also need to be confident and have a lot of faith in yourself in order to succeed.

But what happens if self-doubt starts to creep in?

Perhaps you start triple checking everything you do. Maybe you struggle to make simple decisions and procrastinate so much that nothing ever gets done. Or maybe you create a product or service that you want to sell but then don’t, because you start to believe it’s not good enough.

Self-doubt can creep in for all sorts of reasons. Knowing how you developed it can sometimes help lead you to rebuilding your self-esteem, by getting to the bottom of how it happened.

Some people may have had self-esteem at one point, then lost it. Some never had it in the first place.

No matter how you determine what causes your self-doubt, you’ll be able to overcome it. It doesn’t matter if it’s something that developed over time or...

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Finding a positive outlook and over-coming self-doubt

It’s been tough for everyone over the last 12 months, and sadly it looks like it’s going to continue for a while longer too.

Even for the most optimistic, life is starting to become a grind, but if you suffer from self-doubt, everything can appear more amplified.

In my weekly email blasts this month, I am going to talk about how to over-come self-doubt and find a positive outlook.

You may be wondering why I’ve chosen this as a subject. Well, I believe confidence is similar to a muscle. If it isn’t maintained, it weakens.

Lack of confidence can lead to procrastination, or double-triple checking everything you do. Normal day-to-day decisions become difficult to make, and boundaries vague.

Self-doubt can affect anyone. If your regular routine changes (as it has for many of us over the last twelve months), it can lead to undermining your confidence.

If you suddenly find yourself with an unrealistic workload, you can start to feel overwhelmed, which in turn can lead to...

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Assert Yourself: #4 ways to handle a boundary bully

If you’ve been on this planet for any amount of time, you’ve probably attracted your fair share of boundary pushers.

You know that person – the one who pushes your buttons, tests your limits and seemingly makes it their lifelong goal to guilt you into getting what they want.

This person may show up in your life as a co-worker, family member, friend, customer or even your spouse.

Unless you want to forever commit to pleasing the unpleasable, it’s important to rethink your strategy and put these boundary bullies in their place.

Here are 4 ways to handle the boundary pushers in your life so they know exactly where you stand.

1. Be firm: No matter how much someone pushes against the boundaries you’ve set, it’s important not to cave in and let them have their way. If you’re not a natural boundary setter, there may be a tendency to do this. You have to remember why you set the boundaries in the first place and be firm about enforcing them. Make it...

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#4 ways to say no with zero guilt

Have you ever been tempted to say yes to something simply because you didn’t want to seem rude or unhelpful?

The good news is, you’re not alone. The bad news is, it’s a very common problem, one that usually carries a ton of guilt along with it.

Saying no can be a huge struggle, especially if you’ve spent most of your life trying to accommodate other’s feelings.

However, adding no to your present vocabulary will not only save your sanity but it will help define clear boundaries with those around you.

Here are 4 simple ways that you can start saying no and still walk away guilt free.

1. Give Yourself Time: When faced with a situation where you feel drawn to say no, it’s helpful to give yourself a little time delay before giving an answer. Start by developing key go-to statements that you can pull out at a moment’s notice such as, “I’ll have to think about that. I’ll get back with you,” or “Let me check my...

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How saying ‘no’ helped me with an anti-money laundering inspection

If there wasn’t enough stress to deal with last year with the ongoing pandemic and all the changes that came with it, plus the loss of my beloved Dachshund of 17 years, an email dropped into my inbox mid-November telling me that I had been chosen to have an anti-money laundering inspection.

Funnily enough, I never usually get chosen for anything. I’m the kind of person that if I were the only one in a raffle draw, I wouldn’t get chosen. But hey, not this time! Of all the things to get picked for.

My heart sunk. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I was dreading it.

For those of you who are new to the VA world, by law, virtual assistants who provide bookkeeping services have to be supervised to ensure they are compliant with anti-money laundering regulations.*

The situation didn’t start off well.

Initially I wasn’t sure whether the email was real. I received an email from the supervisory body advising me of the inspection but also another...

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Virtual Assistant Dream or Nightmare?

Last year I set myself some personal challenges – not New Year resolutions btw. Around springtime I sat myself down and spent some time reflecting on why I started my business and how far I had come because I was feeling tired and uninspired. 

The good news was that after 20 years, I was still trading. According to some of my friends and associates, that was me being successful. 

The not so good news was that I felt like I’d spent most of the last 20 years of running my business in what I call ‘survival mode’. Just getting on with the job. 

From 6 weeks of founding my business, I’ve been blessed with being in demand and having a heavy workload. But, because of this, I had so much work to do I concentrated on getting it done without concentrating on the bigger picture. The bigger picture being the after-effects on my health, life and finances (I’ll go into more in another post).

Reflecting back made me realize that I have done...

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At the end of my tether

Sam and I spent a week away in the Adventure Van at the beginning of October.  We had four lovely days in the Lake District and the rest of the time relaxing in Moffat, Scotland.  
This was a perfect opportunity to test out the newly installed virtual private network (VPN) using wi-fi provided on the caravan sites.
Turns out the VPN wasn’t an issue but the wi-fi was.  I didn’t manage to get connected on either site due to a poor signal.
I did have a giggle to myself when I tried logging on to the wi-fi in Scotland. A message popped up to tell me to move closer to the router.  Not that easy when we were snuggled down in the caravan on a wet autumn day, having been allocated a bay at the far end of the site.  I wasn’t going to sit outside the site reception in the rain on my laptop so I could be closer!
In the end I tethered my mobile to my laptop so it was still important to have the VPN...

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The invisible villain and why you need a VPN

Well, I’ve begun looking into how I can work safely on the internet (and not use all my mobile data allowance) whilst we’re away in the Adventure Van. And my goodness, it’s been an eye opener!

I’ll start by saying that I believe most of us are fairly security conscious. We lock our doors and windows, we leave things out of sight when we park our cars, we look out for any suspicious activity in the neighbourhood.

But what if I told you that it isn’t just the villains on the outside of our homes we need to watch out for anymore. We are unwittingly inviting invisible, silent villains into our homes. Many of them are corporate companies as well as lone wolfs (hackers), all because most of us don’t actually realise what’s going on in the background. 

To put things into context, here are a couple of my findings:

  • Internet service providers (who you buy your broadband accounts from) can, and do, follow and save our every online movements whilst...
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